In recent news, America is disappearing into a black hole called Ferguson, jihadists of dubious provenance are beheading western journalists, and five out of the last eight British prime ministers are now known to have enjoyed the close counsel of pedophiles. More importantly: Taylor Swift. Has she sold out? Does she hate black people? Will she ever find Mr. Right?
If you're any kind of newshound with your finger on the global pulse, you'll know that every resource at the Internet's disposal has been turned over to these questions and more, with the release on Monday of Swift's dynamite new single, "Shake it Off."
The point of the song? As the self-elected pinata of contemporary pop culture, Tay Tay is addressing her critics with all the chirpily passive-aggressive poor-me resignation a 24-year-old billionaire can muster. "The hater's gonna hate," she shrugs, and whose soul isn't touched by that?
But the Internet is pissed. Over at Entertainment Weekly, Kyle Anderson and Marc Snetiker duke it out over the song's ultimate significance in the grand narrative of Swift's historic career. As the first round in her conversion from anemic sex-blank country chick to full-on pop diva, "Shake it Off" has already blowbacked a whole new supply of haters. Anderson is their spokesperson. In one of his less acrid remarks, he calls "Shake it Off" a "reductive step back."
I agree, if he means that Pharrell Williams' "Happy" has been definitively established as the state-of-the-art template for all stealth-tooled late summer mega-hits. Otherwise I don't know what the hell any of these people are beaking about.
Except for Earl Sweatshirt, who tweeted that "Shake it Off" -- due to the video's somewhat amusing (and accurate) presentation of Swift as the whitest person on Earth -- is "perpetuating black stereotypes." The Odd Future rapper also admitted that he hadn't actually seen the video. I'm impressed: I had to watch it at least once to know that my kid is going to be playing this fucking high-gloss garbage for months.
Read more: Music
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