In Fast Times, Go Slow

On the face of it, Survival of the Slowest, a new exhibition at the Vancouver Aquarium, offers up a bevy of extraordinary animals and the different strategies they employ to escape, avoid or fend off larger and more fearsome predators. But many of these stratagems can also help us humans to contend with the gnarliest issues facing us these days.

“Usually, when we think of animals surviving, we think about fast and powerful, but sometimes small and slow also wins the race,” explained exhibit leader Joaquin Marquez of the Foundation for Animal Rescue and Education.

Words to live by, Canada.

As we Canadians attempt to safeguard our sanity, sanctity and sovereignty in the coming years, it’s useful to look to the tiny creatures of the world who have managed to outwit larger, more savage beasts for millennia.

For sloths, turtles, boa constrictors and tiny hedgehogs, going low and slow is one methodology. Another is being very small and hard to see. But if all else fails, sometimes the only thing left is to rear up on your hind legs and fight back.

There’s even an economic argument for making like a cold-blooded reptile. Because they require fewer calories to survive, slower, smaller species like snakes and turtles can make do with very little food in times of scarcity. Some species of snakes can go without eating for two years.

So, when life gets spare and bare, these scaly dudes knuckle down, taking in smaller amounts of food, winnowing down their levels of activity to a glacial pace.

This behaviour has allowed creatures like pythons and lizards to survive dire periods of ecological uncertainty. It makes sense that it would also prove workable for political and cultural upheaval as well.

Linne’s two-toed sloth (scientific name Choloepus didactylus) is an example of strength in reserve. Certainly, they’re dead slow, but sloths have extremely powerful arms and are surprisingly good swimmers.

Because sloths move so little, they often grow a coating of algae on their coarse fur, giving them a slightly greenish hue. Not only does the algae provide a form of camouflage, but it also functions as a supplementary form of nutrition. Yum!

Sloths are decidedly not competitive or territorial. Multiple sloths often share the same tree.

Learning to live peacefully with neighbouring creatures is something humans could take a lesson from.

Bold behaviours for intense times

In spite of its title, Survival of the Slowest also features a few speedier types. With its beautifully patterned scales, the bearded dragon is a speed demon and an adept climber, making zippy progress around its enclosure, keeping a careful watch on its surroundings.

That’s another useful strategy that we can apply to our own lives: paying close and sustained attention to one’s immediate environment. The clear, precise gaze of these small creatures keeps them nimbly abreast of danger.

The dragons have a few other tricks up their sleeves (or should I say scales?). When threatened, they can inflate their bodies to appear larger and spikier. This is a behaviour that Canadians can commiserate with, as we’ve been forced to implement such a strategy in recent weeks.

Dragons are intensely territorial and will challenge aggressors, although actual violence is often a last resort. This also sounds very Canadian.

What other methods of survival do these creatures employ?

In addition to the obvious ones like spikes, teeth, shells and scales, there are less overt behaviours that allow for smaller, more vulnerable animals to escape notice.

Camouflage is one of the most frequently used. Not only is it a means of avoiding being seen, but it can also make you look super cool.

One need only take a close look at the ball python, sleek and smooth in its undulating patterns of brown, cream and dark umber.

Think of guerrilla fighters blending in with their surroundings, moving unseen, infiltrating the enemy lines.

Blending in to escape notice, one can take lessons from the tiniest of hedgehogs, which engage in a practice called anointing.

Upon meeting a new scent, hedgehogs will consume the source material, forming a paste in their mouths that is used to cover their spines. Not only do the little guys blend in with the local environment scent-wise, but this behaviour has the additional benefit of being toxic to would-be predators. Eat this, America!

Even if you’re visiting the aquarium to take in the wonder and beauty of the animals on display, it’s useful to squirrel away some ideas, just in case we need to fight back for the Canadian species.

Even the ubiquitous squirrels of Vancouver have some excellent survival strategies, including rampaging like tiny lunatics at anything they perceive to be a threat.

It helps that they look adorable while doing so, not unlike Canadians at large.

‘Survival of the Slowest’ is on display at the Vancouver Aquarium until Sept. 1.