Please Advise! Has Parliament Gone Wacko, or Worse?

[Editor’s note: Steve Burgess is an accredited spin doctor with a PhD in Centrifugal Rhetoric from the University of SASE, situated on the lovely campus of PO Box 7650, Cayman Islands. In this space he dispenses PR advice to politicians, the rich and famous, the troubled and well-heeled, the wealthy and gullible.]

Dear Dr. Steve,

Pierre Poilievre was ejected from the House of Commons Tuesday after the Speaker ruled he had used unparliamentary language in calling Prime Minister Justin Trudeau a “wacko.” The Conservative caucus then left the House en masse and complained Trudeau was not similarly punished for calling Poilievre “spineless.”

What do you think constitutes unparliamentary language?

Signed,

Gladstone

Dear Glad,

Our parliamentary tradition is not simply about governance — it is about debate, bold, soaring debate that inspires, cajoles, admonishes and persuades. And so we are treated to exchanges that amount to, “Stop punching your brother!” “But Mom, he started it!” “Listen, if I have to stop this House, someone is going to be sorry!”

Trudeau had called Poilievre “spineless” for his unwillingness to disavow some of his unsavoury boosters, like the far-right extremist Diagolon group and conspiracy-monger Alex Jones.

Poilievre's response, as is common in such exchanges, was to change the subject, attacking Trudeau for his support for drug decriminalization. Prior to this though, Poilievre had once again pulled out the well-worn retort he carries around with him like a get-out-of-accountability-free card — the infamous 2001 incident when Trudeau donned a blackface costume for a party at a Vancouver private school where he was teaching.

This reminder, and variations on it, are Poilievre's response to any and all criticisms of the company he keeps. Not concerned that, like antibiotics, the effectiveness of the remedy might wane with overuse, Poilievre injects the blackface incident into every debate with or about the prime minister. If, as the late Erich Segal once wrote, love means never having to say you're sorry, blackface means never having to address your own proclivities.

Poilievre is endorsed by Alex Jones? Blackface. Poilievre pals around with groups whose policy is to accelerate the outbreak of civil war? Blackface. The Conservative leader should send Trudeau a muffin basket every Christmas in gratitude for this lovely and durable gift. Harry Potter never possessed such a magic spell. South Dakota governor/pet assassin Kristi Noem only wishes she had such a handy retort.

Trudeau's ill-judged turn-of-the-century stage get-up was profoundly stupid, all right. And it's permanent. As far as Poilievre is concerned, that make-up might as well have been a tattoo.

But if it's a useful rhetorical device in parliamentary debate, it's just as important to Poilievre's wider strategy. It provides him with a simple way to drag every discussion down to the plane on which Poilievre naturally functions.

Poilievre's default setting is schoolyard bully, braying taunts that are intended not to reason but to bludgeon. Robert Fulghum wrote a 2004 book called All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, and Poilievre certainly seems to have read the title, at least. Thus we have political debate that rarely rises above, “I know you are, but what am I?”

Politics ain't beanbag, as they say. But the slippery rhetoric and weasel words that are a typical politician's stock-in-trade are not the same as the toxicity that regularly comes out of Poilievre. With some politicians you get the impression that, in highly-charged moments, they might lose their temper. With Poilievre you get the feeling that calling someone a bullshitter and a Marxist is a regular, sunny Wednesday. Ugly rhetoric is just Poilievre speaking his truth.

Are we fated to descend to the depths now being plumbed in the U.S., where a vice-presidential hopeful calculates that it will be politically advantageous to recount the shooting of a family pet? South of the border they have developed a political climate where, guided by the ethos of Donald Trump, there seems to be no bottom. And up here we have at least one political pilot determined to push the stick into a vertical dive.