Please Advise! Is Sim’s Swagger Slackening?

[Editor’s note: Steve Burgess is an accredited spin doctor with a PhD in Centrifugal Rhetoric from the University of SASE, situated on the lovely campus of PO Box 7650, Cayman Islands. In this space he dispenses PR advice to politicians, the rich and famous, the troubled and well-heeled, the wealthy and gullible.]

Dear Dr. Steve,

A lot of news out of Mayor Ken Sim's ABC Party last week. ABC councillor Rebecca Bligh was ousted from caucus. And the party named two candidates for the April 5 byelection: former BC United candidate Jamie Stein and Vancouver Police Sgt. Ralph Kaisers. Kaisers is head of the police union, the actions of which are currently subject to an investigation concerning the 2015 police beating of Myles Gray.

Is Sim taking a chance here, Dr. Steve?

Signed,

Muni

Dear Muni,

Dr. Steve assumes most people have seen the 1996 movie Fargo. Many will remember the office interview between police officer Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) and car dealer Jerry Lundegaard (William H. Macy). Fargo was not a documentary, but that scene has real-world application as an example of an interview subject botching the exchange rather badly. Dr. Steve is surely not the only person who was frequently reminded of Marge and Jerry while listening to Mayor Sim's interview with CBC Radio's Stephen Quinn on Friday. It reached Fargo levels of awkward.

Early on, Quinn asked Sim about allegations that the police union had advised officers not to take notes about the Myles Gray deadly beating, and that one officer had said Kaisers specifically advised him not to make an official statement to police. Sim responded by pointing out that Kaisers was not actually at the scene of the beating.

True. Also, Richard Nixon did not actually jimmy any doors open at the Watergate Hotel. The man never even owned a safe-cracking kit, for God's sake.

Sim then denied Kaisers did what he is accused of doing. When Quinn pressed him, Sim replied, "There's an investigation, whatever you want to call it."

Perhaps we could call it an investigation?

"We have independent bodies that investigate these things," Sim continued. "And at the end of these investigations, if they highlight issues that we should address, we will absolutely 100 percent address them."

In fact, when you think about it, electing Kaisers to city council will make it that much easier to address any issues raised by his actions. He'll be so conveniently located.

"What happens," Quinn continued, "if Mr. Kaisers is already elected and then the Office of the Police Complaints Commissioner, which is holding an upcoming public hearing on this, finds there was wrongdoing on behalf of the police union and/or Kaisers himself?"

"You're asking me to speculate on something that has not happened," Sim replied. "If that happens we'll address it at that point in time."

Again, very true. If you recruit, say, 50 candidates under investigation for something or other, the odds are very good that at least some of them will be exonerated completely. Therefore it is pointless to speculate about who will ultimately be found responsible for what. Shame on you for asking. Besides, ABC byelection candidate Jamie Stein is not under investigation for anything at all, so that balances the ticket rather nicely.

Quinn then moved on to other Kaisers-related matters. He mentioned a 2020 Twitter post in which Kaisers referred to the Pivot Legal Society, the Western Aboriginal Harm Reduction Society, and the Vancouver Area Network of Drug Users as "poverty pimps."

"Is that a descriptor you would use?" Quinn asked.

"I don't speak for Ralph," Sim answered.

"He is your candidate," Quinn replied.

"I'm trying to answer the question here," Sim said.

We were now completely in Jerry Lundegaard territory. As Jerry told Marge: "I'm cooperating here!"

Quinn mentioned that Kaisers once referred to the north side of Edmonton as "a cesspool."

"Is that the kind of language you'd like to see your councillors using?" Quinn asked.

"We're not going to muzzle people," Sim said. "People can use the language that they use and they can get the response from the electorate for the language that they choose. My concern is making sure that we have good people in that chamber who are going to work in the best interests of the people of Vancouver."

It seems fair to wonder whether evaluating "good people" might involve listening to some of the things they actually say. But perhaps there are other criteria, like dental hygiene and quality footwear.

The conversation moved on to the Downtown Eastside and issues of crime and housing. "We've done a lot of work in the Downtown Eastside," Sim said, "and we are getting positive results."

Moments later he said: "Overall in the city our investment [in policing] has resulted in an overall double-digit decrease in crime... but when you look at the Downtown Eastside it's actually up a little bit."

"So where's the positive result?" Quinn asked.

"The positive result is that overall the city has seen a double-digit decline," Sim replied.

"You specifically said we are getting positive results on the Downtown Eastside," Quinn said.

“No," said Sim, "I said we are getting positive results."

Well, those in the listening audience who were goldfish had probably forgotten anyway.

There followed even more awkwardness on housing policy, but Dr. Steve has already squirmed himself into muscle spasms and does not wish to go further.

Suffice to say that Rebecca Bligh's recent exit from the ABC caucus may as well have been executed on a lifeboat. As Sim said to Quinn at one point: "Please let me finish."

Amen.