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Opinion
BC Election 2024

Please Advise! What Just Happened in BC?

Dr. Steve knows. But you might not like his diagnosis.

Steve Burgess 29 Oct 2024The Tyee

Steve Burgess writes about politics and culture for The Tyee. Read his previous articles.

[Editor’s note: Steve Burgess is an accredited spin doctor with a PhD in Centrifugal Rhetoric from the University of SASE, situated on the lovely campus of PO Box 7650, Cayman Islands. In this space he dispenses PR advice to politicians, the rich and famous, the troubled and well-heeled, the wealthy and gullible.]

Dear Dr. Steve,

There is still some counting to be done but the B.C. election is basically in the books and it looks like the NDP have captured a slim majority.

What's your take on it all, Dr. Steve? What did it all mean?

Signed,

T. Leaf

Dear TL,

This is where Dr. Steve is expected to earn his money. The analysis, the unravelling, the decoding, the explanation of what it was all about. Well, here it is, Dr. Steve's post-election verdict. B.C. voters sent a message that vaccine mandates are comparable with the Holocaust, co-existence with Muslims is impossible, while they want to raise the minimum wage and increase incentives for the film industry, plus reduce the time required for mining permit reviews. Also, the other guys cheated. It's a mixed bag.

Dr. Steve bases his careful analysis on the fact that the NDP narrowly won the popular vote and a slim majority of seats on a platform of practical measures, but BC Conservative candidate Brent Chapman, that one-man Conspiracy Costco, won Surrey South and Conservative Marina Sapozhnikov, who called First Nations people “savages,” came within a goose turd of victory in Juan de Fuca-Malahat.

So the voters of B.C., expertly weaving all of these disparate threads into a representative tapestry, have given us this canny result that combines worthwhile policy initiatives with torrents of racist sewer juice. The popular genius of the electorate triumphs again.

There is another theory of course. It's a theory reflected in the results of the New Brunswick election, the Saskatchewan NDP doubling their seats in Monday's vote and national polls in Canada and the U.S. — these are tough times for incumbents.

The most popular choice in politics remains the Other Guys. Just as every referendum turns into a festival of personal grievance, incumbents usually carry the can for every stubbed toe and dropped piece of toast.

Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre leads national polls with a platform that amounts to, “If your banana bread came out tasting like a baked football and everyone on Instagram seems to be having more fun than you, blame Justin. And the carbon tax.” Yet in New Brunswick the Liberals defeated the government, despite the general consensus that Canadian Liberals are as popular as plantar fasciitis.

Speaking of fasciitis, Donald Trump. Recently the towering twit has been campaigning openly as a totalitarian wannabee. Halloween is supposed to be a season for masks, but instead Trump's mask has fallen off. If he ever really wore one, he now lacks either the inclination or mental acuity to keep it in place.

As the U.S. election draws closer the Republican nominee for president has devolved into a spittle-flecked psychopath, holding imitation Nazi rallies for his damaged flunkies. But is Trump's naked bigotry hurting him in the polls? Doesn't seem to be. He's still the Other Guy. If you're dissatisfied with something, anything, you select option B, even if option B has the brains and character of a crab louse.

Predictably, the Trump playbook has migrated north. First rule of modern Trump politics: when you lose, cry “Cheat!” As the B.C. vote counting continued on Sunday, National Post columnist Tristan Hopper reported on X that he was hearing “buzz” that the B.C. election was “hinky.” Hopper admitted he had no evidence, but still. Makes you think!

One keen sleuth floated a conspiracy about an Elections BC staffer named Andrew Watson and another guy, an NDP staffer named Andy Watson. ARE THEY THE SAME PERSON?

Answer: No. They are, if you want to get technical, two people. But! Makes you think! Did you ever see the movie Face/Off? You think you're looking at Nicholas Cage, but are you? Are you really? The National Post should definitely investigate John Travolta.

Pundits always have to make it make sense, retroactively. Deep meaning must be found. But the question of what decides elections is probably too depressing to admit true analysis. A recent CBC News report featured a Michigan woman, a Kamala Harris supporter, who said seven of her relatives were voting for Trump. Why? Because, she said, during the pandemic her relatives got government support cheques with Trump's name on them, so they figure if Trump gets in again he'll send them more money. Analyze that, pundits.

Meanwhile, has anyone ever seen Conservative Leader John Rustad and Nicholas Cage in a room together? Inquiring loons want to know.  [Tyee]

Read more: BC Election 2024

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